Hello and welcome to Wisdom Elements,
Over a decade ago, my life was turned upside down by a mysterious illness, one which led to varying degrees of poor health for over a decade. I never discovered the cause of my illness but it did set in motion, a longing for answers. A visit to an army of health professionals yielded few answers, but rather a few important questions. Did my state of mind cause me to live in an anxious state and did that anxiety reduce my body’s capacity for ongoing protection from bugs and nasties and it’s ability to self heal?
I realised that for me, trying to find the answer to physical ailments had to start at looking at mental processes and so began a search for my deeply buried intuition, deeply hidden voice and to reconnect the disconnection that had occurred between my heart, mind and my physical body.
I discovered, through challenging, introspective work, that as a child, I’d developed the belief that the mistakes I made were extremely bad and by association, I was bad. In my young mind, I equated love with doing things right, the first time. My subconscious mind developed people-pleasing tendencies and an obsessive desire for perfection, in myself and in others. The result was anxiety. But I couldn’t name that horrible feeling of fear, every time I attempted something new, or why I felt so bad when things went wrong. It wasn’t until I could lay claim to being an anxious person that I could see how this mindset had run my life, and led to me getting sick. My poor adrenal glands could only take so much.
I’d gone from a super confident career woman who held roles in public relations, in broadcast media and music industry, shaking hands with the rich and shameless, to someone who could barely leave the house, lest I have a panic attack in the middle of a supermarket isle. My world went from Mega Huge to the size of a shrivelled up raisin.
Some days were all about survival, others, I had the wherewithal to challenge my unhelpful beliefs, until I gained the insight that would help me move forward.
The journey of rediscovery, restoring self-belief and self-esteem is a long and hard one. Dumping damaging beliefs is difficult because it calls into question our identity. Who are we if we are not our parent’s or caregiver’s beliefs? What do I really believe in? Who am I? What makes me happy? These are confronting questions but worth exploring, because once you access your authentic self, life will never be the same.
With the layers removed, I discovered courage and my-self. I saw my beautiful soul, the mystery that beat my heart and formed my body. Feeling a divinity in all things, I could no longer dishonour the gift of life and promised myself, I would live it honestly, and as fearlessly as I could. I had to either learn to live boldly, or shrivel up again. I decided I was no longer prepared to dance to the beat of someone else’s drum.
Through the discovery process, I found the healing power of creativity. I’d all but lost my creative self and so I began exploring textile design and sewing and took my writing to a new level.
Writing remains my most important healing tool. It kept me sane during my darkest hours and helped me re-discover my voice. It’s the tool I use to help others by sharing my insights, in the hope that I might inspire others to reclaim their true selves and live a more authentic life.
I hope the small offerings shared on this blog are helpful and uplifting.
On the journey with you.