Ever have times in your life, when day, after hilly day, you feel like life is just one constant uphill climb, but not the climbing up the ladder kind of climb, with all its pots of gold and rainbows as dangling temptations, nope. This is the “Oh my goodness, when will life just plateau a little so I can catch my breath kind of climb, and where did that boulder come from?”
You see, as a perfectionist, I like to be in control. I like to know where I’m going, what’s the journey going to be like, what’s the weather forecast, what’s around the corner, what does the corner even look like and what’s at the end of the journey. I want details, details, details. I want directions. Lots of them.
So what does directions have to do with pushing boulders up hills? Well, with perfectionism, comes the desire to tell the universe just how you’d like it. I’m talking specifics here, in full technicolour glory, about doing it your way, because your conscious mind knows better, and yet, continually pursuing that dead-end job, or that crumbling relationship means you are pushing it up hill. Despite the advice of some well meaning gurus, you know that thing about manifesting what you want, well sometimes what you think you want, isn’t what your soul really needs, and so all this wishful thinking means, your “thing” just ain’t gonna happen. We think we know what we want, what course our life should take, the right job, the right house, and the right possessions that will really make us happy, but too often, those are things we “think” we want.
Right now you’re scratching your head saying, “Yeah, that’s right it’s what I think, so it’s what I want. What else is there?” Well you see there’s this “thing” we carry with us into adulthood and it’s a bunch of circuitry that has it’s own unique program. That circuitry is our brain and the program comes from the environment we grow up in. We are deeply influenced by the thoughts and beliefs of our caregivers as we are growing up. So when we consciously think we want the White car, is it really “our” choice or that subconscious parental voice saying, “White is the safer colour. Choose no other”, when what we really want is the Orange one because it better matches our own soul’s desire.
Excessive Perfectionism, like all other limiting or self-defeating beliefs requires us to stop and examine which are programmed thoughts and which are those coming from our heart and soul. So back to uphill climbs. If we can move from “thinking” what we think we want, and instead connecting in with our heart’s desire, and then step back, we allow the universe to meet us half way and give us what our soul needs, thus removing many a boulder and hilly climbs.
Like all reforming perfectionists, I’ve had to let go of the need for details and directions, and understand that the universe dishes out information on an “needs to know” basis. The more I let go of what I think I should be doing in any aspect of my life, the more I get clarity on where I really need to go. Mysterious synchronicity weaves it’s web, one strand at a time, so that like a graceful spider, I can inch my way along the path, as each delicate thread magically appears. And while the journey may not always move forward and more often sideways, it is the detours that can often yield the most unexpected surprises!